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A young couple were married and they were having sex all the time during their honeymoon, but when the honeymoon was over they had to adjust their sex schedule to their work schedule. so every day the husband would get home at 5 o'clock, and every day they would go to bed at 5:15. in the door at 5, in the sack at 5:15. this went on for months, never missing a day until the wife came down with the flu and went to the doctor to get a flu shot. the shot killed all the germs inside her except for three, and these three germs were huddled together inside her body talking over their survival plans. one germ said, 'I am going to hide between two toes on her left foot, I don't think the antibiotics will find me there'.

A second exclaimed, 'I am going to hide behind her right ear, I don't think they'll find me there.'

The last germ said, 'I don't know about you guys, but when that 5:15 pulls out tonight, I'm gonna be on it!'

A quote on marriage (Added On: 2013-03-06 Rating : 4.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

The gods gave man fire and he invented fire engines. They gave him love and he invented marriage.

A quote on marriage (Added On: 2013-02-16 Rating : 4.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. -- Guitry

Rules of Marriage (Added On: 2013-01-04 Rating : 4.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

On their wedding night, the young bride told her groom, 'Since we're married now, we can arrange our sex life like this: In the evening if my hair is done, that means I don't want sex at all. If my hair is somewhat undone, that means I may or may not have sex. Last...if my hair is completely undone, that means I want sex.'

The groom replied, 'OK, honey cup. Just make sure that when I come home, I usually have a drink...If I have only one drink, that means I don't want sex.

If I have two drinks, I may or may not be wanting sex. But if I drink more than two...your hair won't matter!'

Hard of Hearing (Added On: 2012-11-29 Rating : 4.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Two gentlemen were discussing the prospects of "looming" retirement. While one guy had lots of hobbies, the other fellow had no hobbies, and was rather concerned about being set loose with nothing to do.

The first guy suggested his friend go visit his kids. The man said, "Well, I only have two kids, but I could buy a motor home and go visit my brothers and sisters, that would take about a year."

The first guy looked a bit puzzled, so his friend said, "I'm one of eighteen kids in my family."

The first fellow's eyes got rather large, contemplating eighteen children, so the man volunteered to explain.

"The problem was, my mother was hard of hearing." With a big grin he added, "My mom and dad would go to bed at night, and my dad would ask, 'Do you want to go to sleep, or what?' and my mom would say, 'What?'"

There are 120 Wedding jokes in this category.

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