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Religious Jokes

There are 118 Religious jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

Holding a candle (Added On: 2017-12-10 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Q: Did you hear heaven is going broke?

A: Yeah, Liberace is up there blowing all the prophets!

Liberace was a great pianist but he sucked on the organ.


Frank
reid@gold.bacs.indiana.edu


Nuns discussing drinks (Added On: 2017-11-28 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Arthur was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about himself, when a nun suddenly appears at his table and starts decrying the evils of drink. "You should be ashamed of yourself young man! Drinking is a Sin! Alcohol is the blood of the devil!" Now Arthur gets pretty annoyed about this, and goes on the offensive. "How do *you* know, Sister?" "My Mother Superior told me so" "But have you ever had a drink yourself? How can you be sure that what you are saying is right?" "Don't be ridiculous - of course I have never taken alcohol myself" "Then let me buy you a drink - if you still believe afterwards that it is evil I will give up drink for life" "How could I, a Nun, sit outside this public house drinking?!" "I'll get the barman to put it in a teacup for you, them no-one will know" The Nun reluctantly agrees, so Arthur goes inside to the bar. "Another pint for me, and a triple vodka on the rocks", then he lowers his voice and says to the barman "... and could you put the vodka in a teacup?" "Oh no! It's not that drunken Nun again is it?"


Joseph Campbell Jokes (Added On: 2017-11-21 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Our local PBS outlet here has been showing a series of
Joseph Campbell lectures, as they always do when it's
time to wring a little money out of the viewers. On a
recent episode, the late Professor Campbell was talking
about the time when life begins, and he told this little
story:

A Catholic priest, a Protestant minister, and a Jewish rabbi
were discussing when life begins.

"Life begins," said the priest, "at the moment of fertilization.
That is when God instills the spark of life into the fetus."

"We believe," said the minister, "that life begins at birth,
because that is when the baby becomes an individual and is
capable of making its own decisions and must learn about sin."

"You've both got it wrong," said the rabbi. "Life begins
when the children have graduated from college and moved out of
the house..."


God gave to Adam (Added On: 2017-11-13 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


God says to Adam, "I have some good news and some bad news. What do you want to hear first?" Adam says, "Tell me the good news first." God says, "I'm going to give you a penis and a brain. You'll derive from these great pleasure and great intellect." Adam replies, "Wonderful! But what's the bad news?" God says, "I'm only going to give you enough blood supply to work one at a time."


New Yorkers arrived (Added On: 2017-11-08 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


One day at the entrance to heaven, St. Peter saw a New York street gang.walk up to the Pearly Gates. This being a first, St. Peter ran to God and said, "God,there are some evil, thieving New Yorkers at the Pearly Gates. What do I do?".God replied, "Just do what you normally do with that type. Re-direct them down to hell."St. Peter went back to carry out the order and all of a sudden he comes running back yelling "God, God, they're gone, they're gone!""Who, the New Yorkers?"."No, the Pearly Gates."


There are 118 Religious jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

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