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Bar Jokes

There are 156 Bar jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

Just A Juggaloo (Added On: 2017-12-16 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A man is driving home, when is pulled over by a patrolman for a broken blinker. The cop looks into the guys' car and sees a collection of knives in the backseat.
"Sir," the cop says."Why do you have all those knives?""They're for my juggling act," the man says."I don't believe you," says the cop."Prove it."So the man gets out of his car and begins juggling the knives. At the same time, a car with two guys in it drives by."Man," says the first guy."I'm glad I quit drinking. These new sobriety tests are hard."

A Very Special Bar (Added On: 2017-12-10 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

This guy goes up to a bar located at the top of the Empire State Building in New
York. It looks like a nice place and he takes a seat at the bar next to another

"This is a nice place, I've never been here", the first guy says.

"Oh really?", the other replies, "it's also a very special bar."

"Why is that?", the first guy asks.

"Well, you see that painting on the far wall? That's an original Van Gogh, and
this stool I'm sitting on was on the Titanic."

"Gee, that's amazing!", the first guy says.

"Not only that, but you see that window over there, fourth from the right? Well,
the wind does strange things outside that window. If you jump out you'll fall
about 50 feet before the wind catches you and you're pushed back up."

"No way, that's impossible", the first guy replies.

"Not at all, take a look", the other man replies and walks over to the window,
followed closely by the first man. He opens the window, climbs over the sill and
falls out. He drops 10...20...30...40....50 feet, comes to a stop, and whoosh!
He comes right back up and sails back through the window.

"See, it's fun. You should try it", he says.

"Try it, I don't even believe I saw it!", the first man shouts.

"It's easy. Watch, I'll do it again". And with that, he falls out the window
again. He drops 10...20...30...40...50 feet, comes to a stop, and whoosh!

He comes right back up and sails back through the window.

"Give it a try, it's a blast", he says.

"Well, what the heck, I'll give it a try", the first man says and proceeds to
fall out the window. He falls 10...20...30...40...50...60...70...80...90..100
feet and splat!

He ends up as road pizza on the sidewalk. After watching the first man fall to
his death, the other guy casually closes the window and heads back to the bar
and orders another drink. The bartender arrives with the drink and says, "You
know Superman, you're a real jerk when you're drunk".

The Moose (Added On: 2017-12-03 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A moose walks into a bar, and the bartender asks him, "Why the long face, buddy?"The moose says, "You'd have a long face too if you had sex only once a year!"

A Horse Walks Into a bar (Added On: 2017-11-19 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?"

Ghost dog in bar (Added On: 2017-11-13 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

One night, after closing time a barman is sitting at his bar minding his own buisiness, when a spectral hound floats in through the door. The barman, being an exceptionally cool kind of guy, asks "yeah, what do you want?". The phantom hound explains, in a haunting voice "I've lost my tail...... and cannot rest until a kindly barman stitches it back-on". At this request the barman stands back astonished and says to the phantom dog..... "Sorry, but we don't re-tail spirits at this time of night".

There are 156 Bar jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

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