Lawyer One Liners #3 (Added On: 2013-05-03 Rating : 4.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)
** What do you call a lawyer gone bad? Senator.** What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50? Your Honor.** What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a crooked lawyer? Chelsea Clinton.
Lawyer's Question (Added On: 2013-02-19 Rating : 4.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)
A small, uncertain, and nervous witness was being cross-examined. The lawyer thundered, "Have you ever been married?""Yes, sir," said the witness in a low voice."Once.""Whom did you marry?""Well, a woman."The lawyer said angrily, "Of course you married a woman. Did you ever hear of anyone marrying a man?"And the witness said meekly, "My sister did."
Your honor, a juror is asleep (Added On: 2013-02-15 Rating : 4.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)
A Columbia lawyer was well into a lengthy cross-examination of a witness, stopped and said: "Your honor, a juror is asleep." The Judge ruled: "You put him to sleep! YOU wake him up!"
The Judge ruled: "You put him to sleep! YOU wake him up!"
Plaster Lawyers (Added On: 2013-01-14 Rating : 4.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)
How many lawyers does it take to plaster a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them.
Lawyer "Speak" (Added On: 2012-12-12 Rating : 4.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)
The professor of a contract law class asked one of his better students, "If you were to give someone an orange, how would you go about it?" The student replied, "Here's an orange." The professor was outraged. "No! No! Think like a lawyer!" The student then replied, "Okay. I'd tell him `I hereby give and convey to you all and singular, my estate and interests, rights, claim, title, claim and advantages of and in, said orange, together with all its rind, juice, pulp, and seeds, and all rights and advantages with full power to bite, cut, freeze and otherwise eat, the same, or give the same away with and without the pulp, juice, rind and seeds, anything herein before or hereinafter or in any deed, or deeds, instruments of whatever nature or kind whatsoever to the contrary in anywise notwithstanding...'"