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Blonde Jokes

There are 477 Blonde jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

Blonde AND Polish! (Added On: 2017-12-15 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


A Sailor is sitting at a bar one night and is chatting it up with a beautiful blonde. After some drinks she starts to cry and tell him the sad story that she is Polish and misses home terribly but can't afford to buy a ticket to go home.

The sailor tells her his profession and makes a deal with her.
"I'll hide you away on my ship on one condition.
You have to have sex with me when I ask."

She hugs him, crys and agrees. So late that night they sneak on to his ship and he hides her in a big life boat with a canvas cover. He tells her he'll bring her food and water and she'll just have to stay hidden because she'll be in big trouble if she's caught.

So for the next three weeks he brings her rations every day and sleeps with her every night.

Finally one day the captain is strolling on deck, sees something suspicious and lifts the cover discovering the girl. He yells "STOWAWAY!"

Scared she explains: "Dont be mad at me sir. One of your sailors stowed me away to take me home to Poland, and is having sex with me for payment!"

"No kidding? Lady... this is the Staten Island Ferry!"


Long Amusement (Added On: 2017-12-15 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours?

A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.


Blond computer joke (Added On: 2017-12-15 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Q. What does a blonde and a computer have in common?

A. You don't learn to appreciate them until they go down.


Man slamming list of lists! (Added On: 2017-12-15 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


How does a man take a bubble bath?
He eats beans for dinner.

Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
Because they don't have testicles.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

Why don't men eat more M&M's?
They're too hard to peel.

What do you call a man with an IQ of 50?
Gifted.

What's a man's idea of foreplay?
A half hour of begging.

How can you tell if a man is sexually excited?
He's breathing.

What do men and bottles of beer have in common?
They're both empty from the neck up.

How can you tell if a man is happy?
Who cares!!!!

What is the thinnest book in the world?
What Men Know About Women

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. Men will screw anything!

How do you save a man from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
We don't know - it's never happened.

Why do men always have a stupid look on their faces?
Because they're stupid.

How are men and parking spots alike?
The good ones are always taken.

Why do men like love at first sight?
It saves them a lot of time.

A woman of 35 thinks of having children.
What does a man of 35 think of?
Dating children.

How can you tell soap operas are fictional?
In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.

What should you give a man who has everything?
A woman to show him how to work it.

Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.

Why don't men have mid-life crises?
They stay stuck in adolescence.

How does a man show he's planning for the Future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

How was Colonel Sanders a typical male?
All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.

How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus?
At the circus the clowns don't talk.

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift?
Exchange him.

Why do bachelors like smart women?
Opposites attract.

Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half time.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.

Why are blonde jokes so short?
So men can remember them.


Blondes at a gas station (Added On: 2017-12-13 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Two blodes were at a gas station one blode got out to go and get some food she comes back and say's i have locked my keys in my car!! so she goes to get some help moments later she comes back with a coat hanger and she stickes the hanger in the car window and the blond in the car is sittin there saying "a little to the left back to the right".


There are 477 Blonde jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

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