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Jack and Betty are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.
"Betty, I was wondering -- have you ever cheated on me?"

"Oh Jack, why would you ask such a question now? You don't want to ask that question..."

"Yes, Betty, I really want to know. Please."

"Well, all right. Yes, 3 times."

"Three? When were they?"

"Well, Jack, remember when you were 35 years old and you really wanted to start the business on your own and no bank would give you a loan? Remember how one day the bank president himself came over to the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked?"

"Oh, Betty, you did that for me! I respect you even more than ever, that you would do such a thing for me! So, when was number 2?"

"Well, Jack, remember when you had that last heart attack and you were needing that very tricky operation, and no surgeon would touch you? Remember how Dr. DeBakey came all the way up here, to do the surgery himself, and then you were in good shape again?"

"I can't believe it! Betty, I love that you should do such a thing for me, to save my life! I couldn't have a more wonderful wife. To do such a thing, you must really love me darling. I couldn't be more moved. When was number 3?"

"Well, Jack, remember a few years ago, when you really wanted to be president of the golf club and you were 17 votes short?"

Priest and Nun Golfing (Added On: 2012-12-17 Rating : 4.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

One day a priest and a nun went golfing.

The first hole the priest missed an extremely easy put. He shouted, "Damn, missed again."

The nun, shocked, warned him "God will get you for that."

The next hole the same thing occurred. After the priest screamed "Damn It! Missed again" the nun repeated her warning "God will get you for that!"

On the third hole, the priest again missed, and cursed, but before the nun could repeat her warning, A bolt of lightning came down from the heavens and struck the nun dead.

A deep voice from the clouds boomed out "Damn It! Missed again!".

A Woman was out golfing (Added On: 2012-11-08 Rating : 4.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes." The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you,but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!" The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to." The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me." So she's the most beautiful woman in the world! For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you." The woman said,"That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine." So, she's the richest woman in the world! The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."

Golf Lessons (Added On: 2012-09-29 Rating : 4.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A lady goes for her first golf lesson.
The pro says, "You've got to hold the club like you hold your husband's organ."

She takes the club and hits the ball.

He says, "Beautiful. Perfect shot. Right down the fairway. Now, take the club out of your mouth, put it in your hands, and we'll go for distance."

Mark Twain Golf Quote (Added On: 2012-06-26 Rating : 4.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

"Golf is a good walk spoiled."

Mark Twain

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