A + Jokes - Hilarious Jokes

If Silicon Graphics ran Christmas...Ornaments would be priced slightly higher, but would hang on the tree remarkably quickly. Also the colors of the ornaments would be prettier than most all the others. Options would be available for 'equalization' of color combinations on the tree.

GM vs Microsoft (Added On: 2013-03-28 Rating : 4.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated that:

"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a news release stating:

"If GM had developed technology like Microsoft we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day

Every time you painted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car

Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on

Occasionally executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you'd have to reinstall the engine

Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car95" or CarNT". But then you would have to buy more seats

MacIntosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only work on 5 per cent of the roads

The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light

Now seats would force everyone to have the same size butt

The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off

Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna

GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary) even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the cars performance to diminish by 50% or more (Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department)

Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car

You'd press the start button to shut off the engine"

Computer lingo guide (Added On: 2013-03-21 Rating : 4.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Monitor - Keep an eye on the wood stove

Gods dinner (Added On: 2013-03-19 Rating : 4.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

God, Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, and Boris Yeltson are all at dinner. In the middle of dinner God says, "Tomorrow I am going to destroy the world.

Boris Yeltson goes back to Russia and tells his cabinet 2 bad things god does exist and tomorrow he's going to destroy the world.

Clinton goes back to the U.S.A. and tells everyone that there is 1 good thing and 1 bad thing the good thing is god really does exist and the bad thing is he is going to destroy the world tomorrow.

Gates goes back to Microsoft and says 2 great things I'm one of the 3 most important people in the world and the Y2K (Year 2000) problem is solved.

Types of computer viruses (Added On: 2013-01-25 Rating : 4.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.

There are 135 Computer jokes in this category.

Prev 5 | Next 5

Other Sites

List Your Site Here