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Welcome to A + Jokes - Your online resource for funny and hilarious jokes. See the 5 latest jokes added here. Browse the menu on the left for category based jokes. Check out the comic strip section where you can find many cartoons updated on a daily basis and weekly basis.
Cyanide Watermelon (Added On: 2012-05-17 Rating : 4.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke) The was a farmer who raised watermelons. He was doing pretty well but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat watermelons. After some careful thought he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure. So he made up the sign and posted it in the field. The next day the kids show up and they see this sign. It says, “Warning, one of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide.” So the kids run off, make up their own sign and post it next to the sign that the farmer made. The farmer shows up the next week and when he looks over the field he notices that no watermelons are missing but he notices a new sign next to his. He drives up to the sign which reads, “Now there are two.”
Trust no one in times (Added On: 2012-05-17 Rating : 4.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke) Trust no one in times of crisis.
These translations (Added On: 2012-05-17 Rating : 4.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke) These translations are for all of you wonderful women out there, so that you will know what we really mean when we say..."THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."Translated:* "Are you still talking?""YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."Translated:* "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop,' the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned... but I forgot your birthday."
The (Added On: 2012-05-16 Rating : 4.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke) The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you
rapidly.
Miss Right (Added On: 2012-05-16 Rating : 4.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke) I married Miss Right.I just didn't know her first name was "Always."
C: Dos (Added On: 2012-05-16 Rating : 4.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke) C:\ Dos
C:\ Dos RUn
Run Dos Run
Red-tapism (Added On: 2012-05-15 Rating : 4.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke) -From: "De banaan wordt bespreekbaar," cultuurverandering in
ambtelijk en politiek Groningen. door Tom Pauka en
Rein Zunderdorp (Nijgh en van Ditmar, 1988) Translated: "The banana becomes open to discussion," cultural changes in
administrative and political Groningen (city in Netherlands) by
Tom Pauka and Rein Zunderdorp (Nijgh and van Ditmar, 1988)] Red-tapism: Take a cage with apes. In the cage we hang a banana on a string,
and put stairs under it. Before long an ape goes to the stairs
towards the banana, but as soon as it even touches the stairs,
all apes are sprayed with water. After a while the same ape or
another one makes another attempt, with the same result: all
apes are sprayed. If later another ape tries to climb the
stairs, the others will try to prevent it. Now we take one ape from the cage and put in a new one. The new
ape sees the banana, and wants to climb the stairs. To his
horror all other apes attack him. After another attempt he
knows: if he wants to climb the stairs, he is beaten up. Then we
remove a second ape and replace it by another new one. The
newcomer goes to the stairs and gets beaten up. The previous
new ape takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm. A third old ape is replaced by a third new one. The new one
makes it to the stairs and get beaten up as well. Two of the
apes who beat him, have no idea why you may not climb the stairs.
We replace the fourth old ape, and the fifth, etc. until all
apes which ones have been sprayed with water have been replaced.
Nevertheless, no ape ever tries to climb the stairs. "But Sir, why not?" "Because that's the way we do things here, lad."
Rob and Huub
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