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Friendly New York City (Added On: 2016-05-24 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)
I heard this from my mother--I don't know where she heard it.
A tourist is visiting New York City when his car breaks down. He jumps out
and starts fiddling under the hood. About five minutes later, he hears
some thumping sounds and looks around to see someone taking stuff out of
He runs around and yells, "Hey, bud, this is my car!"
"OK," the man says, "You take the front and I'll take the back."
Joke from SNL (Added On: 2016-05-24 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)
Told on the monologue of Saturday Night Live, 9 December 1989:
Q: Why did the Siamese twins move to England?
A: So the other one could drive!
49 reasons to be a woman (Added On: 2016-05-24 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)
1. Free drinks. 2. Free dinners. 3. Free movies (you get the point). 4. You can hug your friend without wondering if she thinks you're gay. 5. You can hug your friend without wondering if YOU'RE gay. 6. You know The Truth about whether size matters. 7. Speeding ticket? What's that? 8. New lipstick gives you a whole new lease on life. 9. You never had to walk down the hall with your binder strategically positioned in high school. 10. If you have sex with someone and don't call him the next day, you're not the devil. 11. Condoms make no significant difference in your enjoyment of sex. 12. If you have to be home in time for 90210, you can say so, out loud. 13. If you're not making enough money you can blame the glass ceiling. 14. You can sleep your way to the top. 15. You can sue the President for sexual harassment. 16. Nothing crucial can be cut off with one clean sweep. 17. It's possible to live your whole life without ever taking a group shower. 18. No fashion faux pas you make could rival The Speedo. 19. Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise and Tom Selleck. 20. You don't have to fart to amuse yourself. 21. If you cheat on your spouse, people assume it's because you're being emotionally neglected. 22. YOU never have to wonder if his orgasm was real. 23. You'll never have to decide where to hide your nose-hair clipper. 24. No one passes out when you take off your shoes. 25. If you think the person you're dating really likes you, you don't have to break up with him. 26. Excitement is only as far away as the nearest beauty-supply store. 27. If you forget to shave, no one has to know. 28. You can congratulate your teammate without ever touching her ass. 29. If you have a zit, you can conceal it. 30. You never have to reach down every so often to make sure your privates are still there. 31. If you're dumb, some people will find it cute. 32. You don't have to memor
Why do dogs lick their privates? (Added On: 2016-05-24 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)
Because they can.Why do dogs stick their noses in women's crotches?
How did the blonde burn her face? (Added On: 2016-05-24 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)
Bobbing for french fries.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? (Added On: 2016-05-24 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)
The Race (Added On: 2016-05-24 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)
There are three guys named Manners, Shutup, and Crap.
They were really bored, so they decided to run a race. During the race, Crap fell down, and Manners stopped to help him. But Shutup ran so fast the police caught him. Here's how the conversation went:
Police Officer #1: "What's your name?"
Police Officer #2: "Where's your manners?"
Shutup: Back there picking up Crap!"
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